How to Build Relationships by Using Names

Do you know the names of all of your teachers in your school district? Or how about all of your volunteers who serve on your PTO? How about all the members of your city council? Why not? As Dale Carnegie once said, “A person’s name is to that person the sweetest, most important sound in any language.” Research has shown that there is a particular chemical reaction that takes place in our brains when we hear our name.

An easy way to experiment with this idea is to walk into a crowded mall and call out in a loud voice a common name like Bob or Linda. You’ll see many people by the name of Bob or Linda turn around and look at you. Why? Because it belongs to them.

If you or your staff and teachers are not regularly using the names of your students, parents or community members, you are missing out on a strategy that can help build a lifetime relationship with them. An easy way to get and use the person’s name, if you don’t remember it, is to read it off of any available source. If they are phoning you, it could be off of your caller ID. In some cases they may even have a name tag they are wearing from their place of employment. When in doubt, simply ask. A simple way to do this is to use the fill-in-the-blank method. It would work like this: “Hello, my name is Tom Borg, and your name is …..?

Once you get that person’s name, use it in the conversation a few times. It helps to write down the names of the people you have trouble remembering. Review the list from time to time. You’ll be surprised and delighted at how easy you will be able to build a sincere rapport with the people you come into contact with on a regular basis.

By the way, a critical place to provide name tags to parents is at all school functions. One reason, is so you and your staff will know their names, but another major reason is that parents will be able to initiate conversations with the other parents.

I remember one particular school orientation session where the administrator did not provide name tags to the parents. Afterwards I asked why he didn’t provide them. His answer was that parents didn’t need to know each others’ names, and besides, it would take too much time to write them out or print them off in advance, not to mention the expense.
This is a good example of how to miss an opportunity to create a positive experience for the parents of your students attending a school function.

So in summary, names are important. Take every advantage of any opportunity to remember and use them with the people with who you come into contact. Your benefit will be that it will help you to build the relationships and support that will help your school district thrive.